10:08 - Huangshan, China

Early on yesterday I knew that whatever happened, it would be a nightmarish sort of day. You know, the kind that would help explain why it is that something like 85% of Americans don't even have a passport. So in a moment of morbid curiosity, I decided to time the amount of time spent actually travelling, hence the title. However, truth be told, the actual amount between walking out of one hotel and into another was in the neighborhood of 14 hours and change.

The day started out on a crappy note when we missed the first bus. It was a nine-hour trip, but that was scratched almost immediately. Oh yeahh, time to 'fess up. As I started to blog about the China leg of this trip, I wrote everything in the first person as if I was doing this solo. Actually, my pal Chao from last year's China trip joined me from the get-go and we've been going through all the China-stuff as a team. I guess I had hoped to make it appear as if I could handle China on my own. The fact is, for the overwhelming most part, I can't see how a non-Chinese speaking person (even one with my considerable experience) could possibly get around this country and in particular on a day like yesterday when things didn't exactly go as planned. Without Chao in tow, I'd be in the middle of a rice paddy right now trying to figure out how to contact my embassy. So, yeahh, he's been around. He gets to practice his English and I get a little peace of mind and after four weeks of going solo, it's nice to have a friend around.

So, yes, we missed the bus and ended up having to take another bus to a different city (Jiujiang) where we would then (in theory) catch another bus to here. First off, the 'bus' was a basically a 15-passenger van, but I admit that we were pretty comfortable in there. Of course upon arriving, we were told that there was no bus that day. So we hopped in a taxi and went to the train station to see what our options were there. They basically were non-existent, but we were told that there was a bus that went to (yet) another city (Jing Dezheng) that would allow us to take the train that we wanted. So, back into another taxi to the bus station. This time the bus was an actual bus that happened to be driven by my dad! Well, not really, but he might as well have been. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Honestly, for as slowly as he drove and on a road that was undergoing construction, I could've built a house of cards on my lap and not had it collapse. I guess all my venom about the drivers here must have been read by the censors and forwarded to someone in high places here.

Well, the best part was coming up...I typically prefer trains to bus travel for any number of reasons, but I have to say that after the four hours-plus yesterday on the last big leg of the trip, I can think of a dozen very unpleasant things I'd rather do before I get back on a Chinese train. I'd rather be dodging mopeds in Saigon or sitting in a sadistic dentist's chair, for example. How to describe it? In a word, a circus. I think we were in the car from hell, though Chao swears that the others were worse. The people in there reminded me of what you might see on a typical visit to the DMV. Too harsh? Perhaps. After all, at the DMV, people don't spit on the floor and throw their uneaten food there either. Not even at the one in Santa Ana! Sorry. The sad irony was that the car we were in was maintained by a saint of a woman in a way I have NEVER seen on any train anywhere. Of course, if the passengers in it didn't treat it the way a baby treats a diaper, she wouldn't have had so much to do. Anyway, she more than earned her yuan. Oh and the noise. I cannot begin to describe what that was like. Between all the yelling, screaming into cell phones and the loud radio program piped in to the whole car, my iPod finally met it's match. When I went to turn it on, a message appeared on the screen saying "Yeahh, right!" Actually, despite my killer headphones and the poor thing at full blast, I was only able to escape as far as purgatory. And just to put the cherry on the sundae, the last scene was the best. Some loud, shirtless pile of #!*%# tried to forcibly open the bathroom with a knife which the woman had locked as the train was arriving to the station. He yelled at her to open it, kicked it very hard twice and finally, she relented. I felt so bad for her. To think that she has to deal with this kind of crap day in and day out, depressed the heck out me.

So finally got to Tunxi and hopped in a taxi for a 45 minute ride to Huangshan. The road we took to get here was honestly, the nicest road in all China. The tunnels we went through looked brand new. There were hardly any cars on the road (it was approaching 11:00) which allowed our driver a chance to really let it all out! It was actually pleasurable getting to the hotel. The hotel is the nicest one I've been in on the whole trip and after yesterday, a welcomed relief!

Here, by the way, is one of the more picturesque spots in the country. Tomorrow we will spend around 10 hours hiking and taking it all in. Today we got our feet wet (literally) at a series of waterfalls that required some trekking. It was beautiful and got us kind of fired up for tomorrow. The food here in Anhui province is very nice but I stayed away from the rat and dog entrees. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I might not have believed it.

Hope to blog after the hike or at the latest, upon arriving in Shanghai for the last three nights of this adventure. Stay tuned...

'Hue' to Go Idiot - Hue, Vietnam

It's pretty amazing in that my desire to be witty in my last post, I closed with that mention of the word 'guey' in Spanish. In case you don't know, that word can mean many things. Mostly it's used between good friends as a way to say a little spicier version of 'dude'. But it's also used as a minor insult when someone has done something stupid. For example, booking a hotel room for only one night when it should've been two. So my little play on words turned out ot be somewhat prophetic as I spent the first moments of my arrival here searching for another hotel because the one where I spent last night is full tonight. Done, and with a pool, no less. By the way, the first one ($35- yikes!) was easily the best one yet. A huge king-size bed and for the first time on this trip, I actually slept the entire night without being awakened by a rooster, a moped horn or any number of the other possibilities. Nice place...each room has a DVD player and downstairs there's an impressive library of pirated DVD's to use for free. Oh and on the map they hand out, there is a little section entitled Tips for Travelers that has a a hilarious list of suggestions for crossing the road. The best part is where it tells you not to panic if you should get stuck and above all, do not go back! Ironically, crossing the street in Hue is child's play compared to HCMC! Seriously...or maybe it's like with the chopsticks, you just get used to it.

So the train yesterday was thankfully my last in this country. It was less than three hours, but a pretty miserable experience despite passing by some incredible scenery along the coast. Sadly, this particular train should've been the best one of all. The first 20 minutes we just sat in the train waiting to get going and without A/C. Remember the scene in Schindler's List where the poor souls are on the train and Schindler pitties them by hosing down the train with water? Granted, not remotely the same thing, but that's the first thing that came to mind. And even after we got going and the A/C came on, it wasn't anywhere near as meat-locker like as the buses tend to be here. At some point I noticed that there were a set of bare feet inches from the back of my head. Lovely. I had to try to explain to the woman that really, lovely though you may think your feet to be, they really shouldn't be propped up anywhere near that close to a stranger's head. Didn't do a whole lot of good. I was thrilled to walk out of the station and on to yet another dude's motorbike for a 20,000 dong ride to the hotel.

The food continues to be very good, however. Ate a French restaurant last night and had roast duck and a Hue specialty. Can't remember the name, but they were almost like little tamales: gelatinous rice with bits of shrimp steamed in banana leaves and dipped in fish sauce. Yum! Had a mango tart for dessert. And wached it all down with a Huda beer- a local beer. I don't just try the local food! I also partake of the potent potables.

This morning I headed across the Perfume River to the citadel and the forbidden city within it. Very impressive stuff. Not as big as the one in Beijing, but nicer in many ways. Saw some very elegant old buildings and relics and tried to keep cool. It is repugnantly hot and humid, which is why I am in here only sweating a little as compared to buckets were I to be outdoors instead. I'm going to head out to some dude's tomb in a little bit and catch the susnset there. The ladies I ate with last night insisted that I must go there as it's quite the photogenic place. We'll see.

Tomorrow I will complete the Vietnamese travel trifecta by flying to Hanoi (buses and trains were the other two). I'll be there for three nights (yes, I double checked the reservation confirmation, by the way) before (expired visa willing) I'll head over to China.

Back to Normal - Hoi An, Vietnam

The one day in Quy Ngon gave me a repreive from 'folks that look (even slightly) like me' which was nice in that I got a sense of the real Vietnam. It was also nice because I didn't get attacked by touts every few seconds trying to sell me everything I could possibly need or not. Hoi An could not be any more different than the place I left yesterday. Before that, another transportation anecdote, however.

I took a taxi from my hotel to the train station yesterday. It started out OK with my driver driving in the style most favored by the Vietnamese, namely as a homicidal maniac. About a third of the way there, I think he realized that if he maintained the pace, he wouldn't be able to charge me what all his buddies are nailing all the tourists for, so he slowed down to an embarassingly slow pace. For my benefit, he (ironically) buckled up so I would think that he was slowing down because cops were looming or something. Old ladies on mopeds were whizzing by us. I tried my best to indicate that I didn't appreciate his tactic, but to no avail. The ride ended up costing 140,000 dong or not-quite $9. Seriously, it was one of the more expensive things I've bought here. The hotel room was only $15, for goodness sake! I scoured my guidebook frantically trying to figure out how to say something along the lines of you disgraceful son of a flea-ridden dog, but strangely, it was nowhere to be found.

Although the train left at a little after 9:00 am, the only 'seat' was a soft-sleeper bed in a sleeping compartment. Normally, you only get a sleeping compartment bed for a train that departs in the evening and runs all night. That was all there was so I had to take it. I shared the compartment with three Vietnamese men right around my age, more or less. I chilled out on my bottom bunk bed listening to my iPod and reading. At some point I dozed off and was awakened by one of the dudes who had sat next to me the way one would sit on the bed of say, a sick kid or something. I mean his butt was right up against my waist. He and his buddies were about to eat lunch and the little table that sticks out of the side of the compartment was (inconveniently for me) right next to where I lay. I tried to make it clear that I was having some space-issues. Rather than sit on his friend's bed, he only moved closer. Great. Again, my guidebook didn't have the phrase sorry, but I'd really rather you not get chicken parts all over my sheet please. I finally made him understand that he needed to sit somewhere else, but then I relented, good guy that I am. I moved my sheet out of his way and allowed him to sit there, but I got out of his way and sat upright for a while as they ate lunch. To their credit, they offered me some chicken and rice, but I declined. By the way, this train was only marginally better than the hard-sleeper and certainly only a little cleaner. The bathroom was also an improvement in that there appeared to be soap and a few squares of tissue on a roll.

Upon arrival in Danang, I hopped on the back of a motorcycle and some guy at the station brought me to Hoi An. On the way here passed by China Beach and the ruins of the U.S. Military base. The beach is quite nice and is slowly being developed in a Cancun-like manner, so not so sure if that's a good thing. So, finally Hoi An. The old part of the city is a Unesco World Heritage site, so it's very picturesque and crawling with tourists and touts. This is a great place to shop for any number of things. There are over 500 tailors in town! They can make a suit in a day for next to nothing, apparently. I walked all over town this morning taking pictures and ignoring the cries of "Hello!", "Hey you!" and "Motorbike!" by getting lost in my iPod. It kind of stinks to have to go that route, but I have to keep my sanity. I'd rather not hear them than have to say NO every nine seconds. I remind me of some of those iPod kids that walk around school between classes in their own little worlds. The difference is that no one is hounding them and it's 9 minutes between classes, not three hours of tout inundation. So, my strategy may be ugly, but I've got to keep my head above water.

My hotel ($25/nite) is kind of a splurge for me. It has a very refreshing pool (!), free internet access (that's why this is so long) and breakfast included. By the way, the meal pictured was part of my lunch. Pictured is something called white rose, which is like a wonton thing that was delicious and a fresh beer. There is a kind of beer here that is like cidra in Spain, I suppose. It's meant to be consumed within a few days of being brewed and is very low in alcohol so you can have lots and lots of it. It costs 4,000 dong/glass which is like (I am not kidding) 23 cents or so. Two glasses of that, the white rose thing plus a bowl of amazing noodles made only in this town and served with pork slices, pork cracklings, basil, mint and a tangy sauce came to 43,000 dong: about $2.50. Money isn't everything, but seriously, as a traveler, it is an important consideration and I have to say that it certainly makes having decided to come here appear to be a good move.

Time for a nap before heading out again. Oh yeahh, haven't whined about the weather lately. It is bloody hot. It's approaching Kyoto-hot, which is why I am indoors wating out the worst part of the day before I head out again in search of more good eats and fresh bia!

Hard Sleeper - Quy Nhon, Vietnam

Managing to sleep in the sleeping compartment of a train basically comes down to who you have to share it with. My first choice for the trip here had been a soft sleeper, but it was sold out. The soft sleeper has four people in the compartment and an actual cushion of some kind. The only option was the hard sleeper. It has six people in the compartment and pretty much a sheet over a hard bench. Not much choice so I paid my $26 and left HCMC last night at 7:00. I spent my last day walking around a lot and dodging mopeds basically. Actually, I also went to the War Remembrance Musuem which displays in harrowing detail, all the horrible things my country did to this country during the war. Though it may be obviously biased (though it would be impossible to present a museum of this type in either country and not have it be biased one way or the other) it once again highlights the lunacy of war, period. The most chilling thing is seeing what politicians and the great thinkers of the day (usually not the same people, by the way) had to say about America's role. It's chilling because many of the sentiments expressed over 40 years ago are eerily similar to what's being said now. We just don't get it.

So back to my train. The conditions reminded me of my first couchette experience in 1992 from Berlin to Prague. This was only three years after the wall came down and the train was an old Russian job with burlap for sheets. I kid you nyet. But back to last night...I was fortunate in that the inhabitants of my compartment weren't a bunch of drunk backpacking teens, loud families or (as in one trip in France) a particularly amorous couple. That was awkward. They were pretty quiet folks who let me get some sleep. All seven of them. There was a baby. A first for me. Cute kid and all, though not so much when he awakened with a blood-curdling cry to indicate hunger, I suppose. Oh and there was an eighth guest who made himself at home on my bench and over my arm and over my pillow, but I don't count cockroaches as official passengers. Also a first, but fitting, given the condition of the train. On the off chance that you just finished eating, I won't go into the aesthetic wonder that was the bathroom. Let's just say that after my first visit there, I willed my insides to wait until arrival before having to go again.

This is my third trip to Asia and something happened today that has never happened. I swear, I spent the entire day here and saw less than a dozen western-looking faces. I don't have a problem with it, but it was odd. I mean, I didn't just finger the index section of my travel guide and pick a place. Granted, it is known for not being so well-known, but I wasn't expecting this. So, the unusual physical attributes that I bring to the town have granted me celebrity status almost. Mostly, it's the little kids that trip all over each other saying "Hello", "Where you from?" and "What's your name?" At one point today, I was spotted by a mom who was walking with her two young boys. The kids hadn't seen me so she said something to them along the lines of, "Hey...a white guy!" and they instantly greeted me very enthusiastically. On the way home from dinner a little bit ago, I was surrounded by a bunch of little kids saying hello and wanting to shake hands and all. It was hilarious and I am very cool about playing along. I wish some of the grown ups wouldn't stare quite so much, but it'll soon be over.

Tomorrow I get back on the train for about 5 hours and head to Hoi An where I will be for three nights. It's supposed to be a very laid back town that somehow managed to avoid being obliterated during the war, so I look forward to that. Also, Bourdain says the food in the market is amazing. So that's a plus. By the way, my hotel here is $15/nite and is huge. It has A/C, cable TV, a balcony, a fridge and is immaculate. The people there speak next t0 no English, but couldn't be nicer. And the no English has been par for the course here. Breakfast was an adventure. I picked what looked like the nicest place in town and got a menu. Luckily I recognized 'Pho', so I picked one of the Pho options and hoped for the best. It was very good and with my coffee (a sweet, super strong Cuban-like variety) I was out the door for under $3. Well, I am surrounded by kids playing video games and it's getting loud, so I'm out of here. By the way, I had to go back and edit this because the space bar basically doesn' t work. But as I sit here and watch kids treat the keyboard like a pinata as they play their very violent, bloody games, it's no wonder.

Plan to wake up very early for some pictures of the fishermen doing their thing in the bay.

Z