'Hue' to Go Idiot - Hue, Vietnam

It's pretty amazing in that my desire to be witty in my last post, I closed with that mention of the word 'guey' in Spanish. In case you don't know, that word can mean many things. Mostly it's used between good friends as a way to say a little spicier version of 'dude'. But it's also used as a minor insult when someone has done something stupid. For example, booking a hotel room for only one night when it should've been two. So my little play on words turned out ot be somewhat prophetic as I spent the first moments of my arrival here searching for another hotel because the one where I spent last night is full tonight. Done, and with a pool, no less. By the way, the first one ($35- yikes!) was easily the best one yet. A huge king-size bed and for the first time on this trip, I actually slept the entire night without being awakened by a rooster, a moped horn or any number of the other possibilities. Nice place...each room has a DVD player and downstairs there's an impressive library of pirated DVD's to use for free. Oh and on the map they hand out, there is a little section entitled Tips for Travelers that has a a hilarious list of suggestions for crossing the road. The best part is where it tells you not to panic if you should get stuck and above all, do not go back! Ironically, crossing the street in Hue is child's play compared to HCMC! Seriously...or maybe it's like with the chopsticks, you just get used to it.

So the train yesterday was thankfully my last in this country. It was less than three hours, but a pretty miserable experience despite passing by some incredible scenery along the coast. Sadly, this particular train should've been the best one of all. The first 20 minutes we just sat in the train waiting to get going and without A/C. Remember the scene in Schindler's List where the poor souls are on the train and Schindler pitties them by hosing down the train with water? Granted, not remotely the same thing, but that's the first thing that came to mind. And even after we got going and the A/C came on, it wasn't anywhere near as meat-locker like as the buses tend to be here. At some point I noticed that there were a set of bare feet inches from the back of my head. Lovely. I had to try to explain to the woman that really, lovely though you may think your feet to be, they really shouldn't be propped up anywhere near that close to a stranger's head. Didn't do a whole lot of good. I was thrilled to walk out of the station and on to yet another dude's motorbike for a 20,000 dong ride to the hotel.

The food continues to be very good, however. Ate a French restaurant last night and had roast duck and a Hue specialty. Can't remember the name, but they were almost like little tamales: gelatinous rice with bits of shrimp steamed in banana leaves and dipped in fish sauce. Yum! Had a mango tart for dessert. And wached it all down with a Huda beer- a local beer. I don't just try the local food! I also partake of the potent potables.

This morning I headed across the Perfume River to the citadel and the forbidden city within it. Very impressive stuff. Not as big as the one in Beijing, but nicer in many ways. Saw some very elegant old buildings and relics and tried to keep cool. It is repugnantly hot and humid, which is why I am in here only sweating a little as compared to buckets were I to be outdoors instead. I'm going to head out to some dude's tomb in a little bit and catch the susnset there. The ladies I ate with last night insisted that I must go there as it's quite the photogenic place. We'll see.

Tomorrow I will complete the Vietnamese travel trifecta by flying to Hanoi (buses and trains were the other two). I'll be there for three nights (yes, I double checked the reservation confirmation, by the way) before (expired visa willing) I'll head over to China.

Apologies - Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

I take back everything I ever said or thought. Heck, it was less than a week ago that I pronounced the traffic scene in Phnom Penh to be the worst I'd ever seen. So I offer apologies to that city as well as Mexico City, Beijing, Rome and even Cairo- never been, but I've heard stories. For mine eyes have seen things the past 24 hours that defy belief. I had heard that it had to be seen to be believed and lo and behold, it is true. Were it only the major intersections, it would be one thing. But it's everywhere. On every street corner and seemingly at all hours of the day and night. The thing that put HCMC way over all the other cities is the unfathomable number of mopeds on the street. The roundabouts are clearly the most entertaining spectacle. To be in a taxi and watch as the almost ballet-like dance that takes place between all the different vehicles and pedestrians is just a whole lot of fun. It takes a little nerve to cross the street here for the uninitated, but I found that it's best to be cautiously aggressive. In other words, you can't appear to be timid or you'll get creamed. The traffic is like a dog- it smells fear, so best to take it on respectfully and emerge unscathed. Another disturbing thing here is the random nature of adherence to traffic laws, assuming there are some. Yes, there are traffic signals and all, but just cause the little guy is flashing walk on the sign means next to nothing. I think prisoners in Guantanamo have more rights than pedestrians here. And if you think the sidewalk is safe, think again. All the mopeds have to park there and more than a few drivers go ahead and drive on the sidewalks as well. But what really shocks the uninitiated is the number of toddlers and little kids that either ride in front of mom or dad, or standing between the seat and the handle bars. Yes, most are wearing helmets and many have the mask over their nose and mouth. As if the real threat here to life and limb is what you are inhalling. And despite all of the above, I've only seen a couple of near-misses. Somehow, this all works.

Despite the chaos that characterizes the street, I have to admit that I like it here much more than I thought I would. Were it not for the (not-quite-as-obnoxious-as-in-Phnom Penh) touts that hassle the poor tourist, it would be perfect. It has the energy of NYC or Mexico City, for example. The area where I am staying is very lively with many, many foreigners. There are great places to eat, get coffee, relax and take in the neverending parade on the street. My hotel room ($20/nite) is unique in several ways: it's on the fifth floor (and there is no lift) and the bathroom actually has a partition for the shower. Up to now, every bathroom in every hotel I've stayed in has not. So when using the shower, you have to get all the crap you don't want to get wet out of the bathroom. A huge pain and not being used to it, I'd tend to forget to remove the toilet paper. Not pleased about that. The decor is something out of I'm not sure what. Woke up this morning, looked out my window and noticed a guy walk on to his balcony, walk over to the rail and relieve himself on the roof next door. He obviously didn't see me. It's not like I wanted to see that, but I guess our timing couldn't have been worse. Along those lines, in both countries, men tend to do their business pretty much anywhere. Driving a while and need to pee? No problem. Pull over, stand next to the car, turn your back (a little modesty, I guess) and go. The little kids, on the other hand, have no such inclinations, modesty-wise. You see them just about everywhere doing their business. Mom or dad standing right there too. Different...to say the least.

Yesterday's adventure in obtaining the various things I needed for the rest of the Vietnam leg of the trip did not exactly go swimmingly. I did get my plane ticket and my train tickets though I had to stay an extra night here because tonight's train out of here was sold out. And I had two different travel agents tell me not to worry about my expired visa situation. I was told to slip the equivalent of about $10 in my passport where the visa is and that it would be OK. I'm a little uneasy about this, since I am one of the most anal-retentive people I know when it comes to stuff like this. The problem is that in order to extend the visa, the agency would need to have my passport for at least 4 days and that's no good, since I won't be anywhere the rest of my time here for more than three. So I'm a little nervous about it, but have been assured that it's OK since apparently 5 is the magic number of days that will get one tossed into the slammer. We'll see...

Just had lunch with the Lunch Lady! On Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations program awhile back, he visited this woman who sets up her street stalls everyday and sells the best bowls of soup in town. This isn't the first time I have followed up a Bourdain hotspot and it has to be noted, the man isn't kidding. The soup really was incredibly delicious. To be honest, not completely sure what was in it, but I'm pretty sure it was a pork broth. It also had a shrimp, a quail's egg, noodles, all kinds of sauces, sprouts, cilantro, basil, other herbs I couldn't identify and a slice of some kind of liver. I tried the liver slice because I really wanted to like it, but me and liver just don't get along. Never have and I suspect, never will. Oh yeahh, the huge bowl of soup and two spring rolls came to 19,000 dong...or about $1.05 or so. Insane.

The rain is letting up so I'm out of here. Tomorrow night I am in a sleeping compartment of a train headed for Quy Nhon. Hopefully, the 11 hours I spend in there will be nice and boring.

Z